A Question of Balance

I had someone ask me today how I balance the math & science part of myself with my artistic, creative side. I responded:

"Life is all about balance, isn't it? It's about standing under the sky at night and dancing with the stars. It's about love poems to the setting sun and sharing grief with the predawn moon. It's about walking the wilderness and knowing that even if I die, some part of me will walk out whole, ready to enter the land of milk and honey.

"It's about looking at those around me and caring more about what they need than what I want. It's about laughter and joy and being gentle with myself when I get knocked awry. It's about believing in good, in love, in those around me. And I do believe."

Vision Carrier

A friend recently told me I was her vision carrier - that I believed in her dream, and it gave her the courage to believe and work toward it, too.

I think we are all called to be vision carriers for one another.

A vision carrier does more than just believe in others' dreams, though.

A true vision carrier holds up a God-mirror, revealing each person as God sees them. For it is only when we can look upon ourselves as God looks upon us that we will have the courage to step out, to believe, and to live fully and joyfully in our dreams.

I realized that's really why I'm passionate about creating portrait art - I strive to be a vision carrier for everyone who is led to my studio door. Who are your vision carriers, and whose visions do you carry?

Reflections of the Moon

It was a glorious full moon last night, and it rose large through the trees. I grabbed my camera to capture the orb's ascendant moments.

I posted the images on Facebook (of course), and was soon echatting about the beautiful view with a friend who is going through a painful time. I shared these thoughts with him:

The beauty of the full moon on a clear night ENCOMPASSES the world. There is joy everywhere and in everything. We have to look harder to see it in some places, but it’s those troubled spaces that give us a chance to grow our souls, so we can appreciate the moon moments even more.

And don't fear for your young, who have yet to experience their own dark nights, for they will grow into their souls in their own ways.

Even More

I attended a spiritual retreat last weekend. It was three days of no cell phone, no computer, & no camera (!) – time to spend looking inward rather than outward. I was skeptical about the concept, but willing to give it a try.

I came away a changed person. Thanks in part to letters collected in advance from friends & family, I was able to see myself as you see me – and I realized how much gentler & kinder you are toward me than I am toward my own self. I resolve to love ‘me’ better from now on.

On Sunday night, I stopped at home, moved my toiletry bag into another (pre-packed) suitcase, and immediately headed to Portland for the annual state photographer’s convention. Again, I was feeling skeptical. I was tired and introspective after the weekend. Did I really need to go meet & greet other photographers and attend more classes?

Once again, I was amazed at what I learned. For me, it wasn’t about new techniques of lighting, posing or retouching. It was about the heart of my business – about what I love to do and how I can do it in a way that delights my clients even more.

In the next few months, expect to see tweaks to sessions and to collections. Expect to see expanded art options. Expect an experience with me to feel even more personal, as I move into an even more authentic place with both myself and my business.

I have to laugh, because I repeated ‘even more’ three times in the last paragraph. That’s a taboo for writers – to repeat the same words again & again. But I can’t change it, because in each place it is exactly the right phrase. I think I’ve discovered my theme for 2010 – EVEN MORE. Even more passion for what I do. Even more love for those around me.

And this is all because of a couple of seminars that on the surface appeared very different, but were, at heart, the same – about sharing my passion and about living life to the fullest. The opportunities to grow are all around me, even if I’m skeptical.

My deepest thanks to you, who have shared my studio and my life. Thank you for accompanying me on this wild, magical journey. The experience would be much poorer without you.

Whisper of the Divine

I have always believed that there is a huge difference between what is 'real' and what is 'true'. Lately, I've been coming across articles that show me I am not alone in my ruminations, including this one from 1978, written by sci-fi/fantasy writer Phillip K. Dick. It is a beautiful exploration of life, the universe, and everything. (Wait, that's a different fantasy author...) :)

On Facebook this morning, I quickly quipped my thoughts. When I went back, I was struck by how deeply it was MY truth. I thought I'd share:

People always comment on how unique my portrait art is. I think it's because I'm always striving to capture truth, which is deep & beautiful in each person. 'Reality' is so unreal, and I try to take only that part which is integral to each person. I mainly focus on revealing the amazing spirit within. And then my art has beauty & integrity, because it captures a whisper of the Divine.

By Popular Demand - classes!

As many of you know, this month I started graduate studies. I am in an MFA in Creative Writing program, and I just returned from a 10-day residency at Seaside. The fire in my belly for writing has been rekindled with a vengeance.

Interestingly, during this residency, I also realized that I NEED to do portrait photography. I didn’t realize just how passionate I was about capturing a person’s heart & soul through photographic art, but after a week away at grad school, I was pining to photograph someone. Thankfully, a couple of fellow students kindly offered to be models. Their images are included in this article – a shout-out to my new friends for rescuing me from the photographic doldrums!

What an eye-opening experience. Because I discovered that not only am I passionate about writing AND photography, I also realized just how much I love to teach. I have returned with a renewed determination to nurture beginning photographers, so that they can express THEIR passions through photography. I am so excited to continue the adventure of MyPhotoMentor.com, and I am also starting local photography classes.

Camera 101 begins Saturday, February 20, from 1-3:30 pm. This monthly series will begin at the very beginning and grow with my students. The first topic is See the Light. We’ll start in my studio, talking about light and how to ‘see’ it. Then we’ll continue on to Deepwood Park, where we’ll practice nature and portrait photography. It’s going to be fun! I will accept the first 10 students who call and sign up. Cost is $39. Call (503) 508-5157 if you’re interested in participating.

What are your goals, dreams, and passions for this new year? I hope you’re off to as exciting a start as I am!

Thoughts on a Christmas Eve morn

This year was a year of change. It didn't start out that way - it began as most years do, with resolutions & business plans & such. But this summer, my father-in-law suffered a medical emergency, and by mid-August he was gone. He was laid to rest in a beautiful spot right by my husband, who passed seven years ago.

One month later, I had applied and been accepted to graduate school. (It's a low-residency program, so I will still be in Salem to create portrait art for you all. No worries!) I chose an MFA program in Creative Writing at Pacific University in Forest Grove, Oregon. It's about an hour drive from my home via the back roads, so the twice-yearly pilgrimage to on-campus seminars will be an easy one.

We can never see our future, not really, but I have the strong sense that my love of photography & my love of writing will somehow be intertwined. Perhaps creative books with portraits of my clients & a written tale of their lives? Perhaps a collaboration of my visual & written art? Perhaps a reality much bigger & better than any I can imagine?

I think that is the message of this year. Our dreams are only the beginning. Our futures - yours, mine - will be grander & stranger than what we can envision. Rather than trying to glimpse (and plan) it all before we dare begin, we need to pray & trust & fly out our doors every day, because wonderful adventures await.

A very merry Christmas to you all.

Video Insights

I bought a Flip MinoHD, and immediately put a video up on Facebook of me in my studio. Hey, it’s a business deduction, so I’d better be using it for business, right?

I was surprised by the strong response I received. Not about the fact that I stay current with technology (although I pat myself on the back for that. I may be over 50, but I’m as groovy as ever. Oops. Did I just say “groovy”?)

The observations that really caught my attention were from high school classmates whom I haven’t seen for 30 years. They commented on how beautiful I was and that, seeing my personality on the video, they could understand why I was such a popular photographer.

Wow. You see, I was not a ‘popular’ teenager. Not by a long shot. I think it was because my self-esteem, in every category except academic achievement, registered in the negative scale.

It made me think. What changed between geeky 17 and today? What caused me to turn from an insecure teenager into a confident adult? I know that I struggled through my 20’s and beyond. When did it change?

Two things come to mind. One is life’s challenges. When tribulation comes our way, we can either grow, or we can shrink. Through the grace of God, I have grown with the sorrows (as well as the joys!)

The second is photography. My passion for what I do, the response I get from my clients and my friends, the joy of CREATING, brings a deep sense of centeredness. When I am photographing, I know who I am. I feel a sense of where I belong in the universe. Photography both grounds me and allows me to fly. And I think that’s what my old classmates (and current friends) saw in my short movie.

Funny how it takes an amateurish video to bring that all to light, huh?

PS: Here's the video:

The madness of the artist

I had a client recently request the raw files from a publicity session, because her book is soon to be published, and the publisher requires unretouched images. She obviously compared the image I initially presented her with the raw file, because she commented on how much more she appreciated what I did in my digital darkroom. Here was my response to her:

In the camera, I capture the physical. In the digital darkroom, I capture the spirit. Together, I capture the person. An artist shows what mere medium cannot.

But that's why I hate to have people see their images unretouched, because they mistakenly think that's the 'real' them.

But that’s not true, anymore than a corpse is the 'real' person. If you've ever seen someone who's just passed, you know how NOT true that is. It is our spirit that gives animation and life to our corporeal fluff.

And it’s the artist’s job to capture that that magical combination of body and spirit. We work in two dimensions to capture what exists in three-four-more? dimensions (for in how many dimensions resides the spirit?) It is an unattainable undertaking. Perhaps that’s why artists are often perceived as half-mad. We have to be, to be so driven to attempt the impossible.

But it is in our striving that we create art that lifts the soul and brings hope and healing to the body, which gives people the emotional fortitude to face the challenges of every day.

Artists gift to people the vision of their true selves, and there is no more potent medicine nor more powerful talisman than that.